Imagine you’re at some snazzy fancy party with your BFF. There are some Important People you’d like to meet, do a little shmoozin’ with, and hopefully impress. Maybe you’ll get bonked with the Awesome Opportunity Stick if they take a shine to you.
So, you’re shmoozin’ up a storm, introducing yourselves to Someone Really Awesome + Important, and this happens:
Someone Really Awesome + Important: So, what do you do?
Yourself: Oh, well…I do some stuff. And sometimes I do some things. A little bit of this and that.
SRA+I: Oh. That’s…neat. Who’s your friend?
Yourself: ZOMG THIS IS MY TOTALLY AMAZING FRIEND THE BEST WRITER EVER YOU SHOULD GO TO HER WEBSITE AND SUBSCRIBE TO HER EVERYTHING SHE’S GOING TO BE REALLY FAMOUS AND AWESOME EVERYONE GIVE HER YOUR SUPPORT AND ALSO ALL THE CASH MONIES.
SRA+I: OK HERE YOU GO I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE THESE SPARE MILLIONS YOUR FRIEND SHOULD HAVE THEM BUT NOT YOU BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT…STUFF…AND THINGS…ARE.
Your Friend: OMG THANKS MY LIFE IS THE BEST NOW.
Yourself: *awkward sad face*
I know, I know. How could I possibly have known exactly what happened to you at that party last night? You know, the one where you talked up your friend and told everyone how amazing they are, while just shrugging nonchalantly when asked about your own job and talents.
Stuff. And things. Because, it’s not nice to brag, is it? So we just kind of mumble some stuff that maybe doesn’t sound so great, and that’s the end of that. But if we get asked to introduce a friend who does something amazing, we will never hesitate to sing an epic in their honour.
And then that Someone Really Awesome + Important We’d Like To Impress, gives all the praise and money to your friend because you, like, basically told them to. While mumbling about your stuff and things.
Well, guess what?
It’s time to be your own horn tootin’ BFF and own your party bio. And your website bio. And your Twitter bio. And your mom’s bio. Oh, ok, fine, we’ll leave your mom out of it. But just remember – so’s your face!
Tootin’ Your Own Horn
You don’t have to do it in a creepy, douchey way. Just be willing to talk about yourself, in a way that sounds exciting.
Actually, just be excited. Be excited about what you do and tell everyone how excited you are and how awesome it is. Just like you would do for your BFF.
Be your own BFF.
Guess what will happen when you’re excited about your stuff? People will get excited with you. And then they’ll want to work with you, because you’re exciting. Or, they’ll remember your excitement and the next person they meet who could use your services, they’ll remember your exciting story and tell them about you. BOOM. New business.
It might feel kind of (or completely) awkward to toot your own horn at first, but just remember to be totally genuine and you should manage to stay douche-free.
My rule of thumb here is, if you can’t imagine yourself saying it out loud to someone’s face, don’t write it in your bio. And also, don’t say it to someone’s face.
Imagine yourself at this fancy party. Imagine yourself talking yourself up to new acquaintances. Tell them about the creative and unique way you solve a problem for your clients / customers / audience / cult. Tell them how you do it in that special way only you can…
Then, write that down. Boom. Bio material.
Put it in your Twitter profile, on your annoying new Facebook Timeline page (I know how you really feel about Timeline, don’t try to kid me). Expand on it for your website’s bio. Step out of yourself for a few minutes, and get really excited about what you do just like your BFF or your mom might (I know, I know, I didn’t mean it like that).
If you’re feeling super extra awkward and stumped, call up your BFF or a supportive family member and ask them to describe what you do and why they think it’s awesome. Trust me, you’ll feel a bazillion times more pumped up about writing a bio after a little ego boost.
Most of all, remember this:
Writing your own bio shouldn’t be hard. It’s important that we love what we do, that we get excited talking about it, that we want to tell our stories. How can we expect anyone else to give a shit if we don’t? I know. Time to start giving a shit, like, yesterday.
Practice: Give it to me in the comments. Pitch yourself like you’re your own BFF.
If you’re feelin’ like you need some bio-writing help ASAP, we should probably talk. I can be your personal horn tootin’ BFF for the day, or the week. If that sounds cool, pop on over here and hit me up.
Coming Soon: How to embrace your inner split personality to construct a better bio; quick questionnaires for easy douchecanoe-free bios.